In Memory of Tommy

Writers Note: I wrote this blog initially as an email to a friend of mine on my Blackberry as we were traveling back from the service in Mountain Home, Tennessee today (March 4, 2009). My oldest brother Darrell was doing the driving and our Dad was asleep in the back seat. To get there we had to go through some of the prettiest parts of the North Carolina and Tennessee mountains up Highway 421 and 321. I deliberately did not edit the order or composition because I wanted it to read just like it was originally typed on the Blackberry. The only edits I made were for clarity of subject or object. Thank you Darrell for driving so I could get my thoughts together in this format.


We are on our way back from the memorial. It was in a national military cemetery near Johnson City. It was a full military service outside in a gazebo built just for that purpose. The weather was beautiful and all these mountain folk who my brother has befriended over the last 10 years came up from the area he lived in to the south.
.
One of his best friends and fellow Vietnam vet came up from Concord. He spoke and man it was so from the heart. They had gone to the wall in DC together several times and he had taken a photo of my brother with his green beret on with the Washington Monument in the background. . That photo looked liked something out of a magazine or Vietnam Veteran’s publication. It was displayed along with my brother’s medals and the framed citation telling the story of how he had been a hero. The chaplain read the story during the service and it was incredibly powerful.

When the attendants, color guard from the VFW, the chaplain, and the VA people arrived I started talking to the chaplain. Of course he had never met Tom until Tom's last trip to the VA hospital where the chaplain is assigned. He was young probably about 30. I think I caught him off guard when I asked if I could pray for him before the service. It wasn't that long ago I would not have been able to pray like that for and with a stranger.

The chaplain’s message was one of hope, of Christ love and sacrifice for us, and I am glad that he shared that with the mourners. I hope hearts were touched because without God's love and grace through His Son we are lost.

My oldest brother spoke too and the love that poured out of him for Tom left no dry eye including that of many of the color guard. I did not know this but Darrell had been drafted in the army and had to go to Vietnam. My brother Tom didn't have to go but signed up to support Darrell and they both took their physicals the same day. When Darrell got sent to Nam Tommy didn't have to go but by this time he was a green beret so he volunteered! He VOLUNTEERED! He didn't want his brother to be the only one making the sacrifice! I just stood there stunned and the tears pouring from the eyes of all the vets including my Dad's were overwhelming.

The sounds of a 21 gun salute and then the playing of taps by a lone bugle player in a military cemetery will be in my memory forever. I am not sure I have ever been more thankful for the blessings of living in this great country of ours. It made it quite clear to me that freedom is not free.

One of the most poignant moments of the service came after the gun salute. It was the act of the color guard folding the flag that covered the coffin (box that held my brothers ashes). I had seen that ceremony on TV but never witnessed it in person. The care and precision displayed by the young officer and soldier performing this duty sent chills down my spine. To watch how they valued even the importance of each fold being perfect while still being almost complete still at attention was awe inspiring. When it was completed the commander of the VFW honor guard who performed the gun salute stepped up, saluted the young officer, placed three of the shells (from the gun salute) on top of the flag and saluted again. He was probably in his late 60's and immaculately dressed in full formal uniform. As he performed his task tears poured down his face honoring the memory of a fellow soldier that he had never met! He completely personalized his role in a tribute to my brother. His salute was with a shaking hand yet it was performed with respect for the flag, for our country, and for Tom. When the officer handed the flag to Tom's oldest son, Darron, tears streamed from my eyes and everyone in witness.

His sons Darron (the oldest) spoke about the respect he had for his dad and how his dad had taught him how to work hard. Robbie (the youngest) talked about his dad's love for animals, people, respect for women,and yard sales. Ha ha. Britta his daughter wept as she said she didn't know about all this military stuff but this was her daddy and her safe haven. He was always there for her. And that he was hard headed and we all knew it and she was going to miss him so much.

When it was my turn I felt compelled to tell the story of getting him and his African Grey parrot out of Costa Rica. It was quite an ordeal but throughout it my brother just kept showing love to me and that bird. (This will be the subject of a future blog…it’s a TV movie in the making let me tell you.)

Even with all of the demons that haunted him my brother Tommy touched lives where ever he went. To see the neighbors, the fellow vets, family, and even members of the color guard, gathered in that setting to remember him will be a blessed memory for the rest of my life.

I love you Tommy. I will miss you. You are my brother and one of my biggest heroes.