My mother, God rest her soul, was an incredible woman in a number of ways. She worked in the textile mill that was the anchor of the mill village I grew up in for almost 50 years walking to work everyday. For 45 years of that she worked the same job in the supply room as a clerk ordering parts and supplies for thousands of pieces of machinery, looms, spinning frames, and other equipment. Peggy, as she was called by everyone except her children, was famous in the Concord area for her homemade macaroni and cheese, her fudge, her cheese straws, and the seven different kinds of cakes she made every year at Christmas. A tireless worker at Kerr Street United Methodist Church, she along with my Dad, was the key ground beef chili maker for that organization’s Friday hotdog sales. This was not your normal fund raiser mind you. Kerr Street was a hot dog making machine and literally developed a business almost exclusively manned by retirees and senior citizens that grossed over $2000 a week! That was every week except the weeks of Easter, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. Mom and Dad would cook over 125 lbs of ground beef every Thursday night for the chili that to this day is still my favorite ever.
(Kerr Street still has hotdog sales the first Saturday of the month in Concord, NC so go check it out if you are in the area. No offense to Forest Hills UMC or Epworth UMC but neither of them could hold a candle to Kerr Street, but I guess I am a bit biased).
Mom loved her children and grandchildren, her family, my Dad, and my amazing Grandma Spears, with a passion, and would go out of her way if she felt someone needed something. Even though we were poor, my mother never lacked a penchant for gift giving, even if it was from the sale rack at Belk. Matter of fact, she reveled in the fact that she got things 30%, 50%, and the holy grail of purchase prices, 75% off. So much so that she would tell the recipient.
It would go something like this, “Do you like the shirt? Guess what the price was? Now guess, what I paid for it?”
When my mom passed away a few years ago I wanted so bad to take just a little bit of her ashes and put them under the sales rack in the Belk at Concord’s Carolina Mall. It was her favorite place to be for goodness sake. Needless to say my family did not let me.
Christmas was Peggy’s favorite time of the year and her love for Santa Claus ceramic figurines was legendary. To this day, the house I grew up in has over 150 Santa’s of all shapes, sizes, colors, and designs, on display on shelves, in china cabinets, in curio cabinets, and even on dressers and window sills. It looks like a “ceramic Santa museum” for crying out loud.
My mother also loved the Lord so much and it was her faith that cemented the foundation for my walk with the Lord ,that of my brother Darrell, and the family. Today in churches we participate in “small groups” or “life groups” where we get together with others for fellowship, study the Word, and to support each other. Mom was the queen of small groups but back then it was called “Circle Meeting”. Man oh man, did I love it when Mom’s Circle met at our house. My mother was quite the show off when it came to her culinary skills fancying herself a mill hill Julia Childs and Circle meeting at the Karr house was center stage. The cheese straws, homemade chocolate fudge, a soggy pineapple cake, a German chocolate cake, lemon drop squares, and date nut roll were produced in mass along with this pineapple punch that had frozen rings of fresh pineapple floating in the punch bowl. Yum! It was as sight to not only behold but to partake in and my Dad and I waited patiently out in the yard, in the garden, or down at my oldest brother’s pond, for the moment we were allowed back in the house to clean up the left overs!! Talk about pigging out! In anticipation of that event I suspect I fasted for a couple of days.
Mom also had her challenges. All of you have heard about the glass half full, glass have empty way of describing people:
“There are two kinds of people, those who see a glass of water (that is 50% filled) half full, and those who see it half empty.”
Well Peggy was a third kind: It was not only half empty but the last drink she would ever have in her life! To twist another cliché: Mom could always find the black cloud surrounding the silver lining. I used to call her the eternal fatalist, Momma Chicken Little, whose sky was always falling no matter how uplifting everything seemed to be going at the time.
It made being around her sometimes difficult to say the least but I think it also shaped how I have tried to live my life more to the optimistic side. Don’t get me wrong, for those of you who know me in person, and especially my family , my emotions are best represented by the shape of a roller coaster’s layout except the climb up is often close to vertical, very high, and the return is a bullet train straight at the ground. For the most part however, I have been the person who no matter how bad things can get seems to take it fairly in stride. This has become more true as I have gotten older, learned to cope a bit with my issues, and have been feted with the blessed assurance of God’s grace and love. I think because I was constantly trying my best not to get drawn into my mother’s negativity, which by the way was often directed at my “failures” and shortcomings, I developed a “seek the positive” approach to most challenges in life (with the exception of losing my hair. I had great hair. I miss my hair).
It is from this perspective I have tried to approach the representation of my faith. Growing up in a conservative United Methodist family who happened to believe that one needed to make a conscious decision to accept Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior I did not get exposed to the “Hail, Fire, and Brimstone” theology that seemed to be and still is in some denominations, the motivation to get saved. Don’t get me wrong, I was taught about Hell, believe it is real, and believe it to be a place I surly do not want to go. I just did not grow up in an environment where the fear of damnation was the scare tactic (a term one of my Facebook friend’s wrote today in a posting on my page) used to get me to make that decision to follow Him, the “turn so you don’t burn” approach if you will.
Having said that and being someone who has been making a conscious effort to live my faith I recently was faced with situation where someone who is not a Christ follower asked me the age old question:
“So, do you believe that since I don’t believe in Jesus I am going to Hell?”
At first I was taken aback. Thoughts ran through my head at an even more jumbled and rapid pass than my normal ADD/ADHD/OCD brain typically conjures and I was reeling a bit looking for something profound to say.
My first thought was just to say “no” of course not.
My second thought was “well, the Bible teaches blah blah blah’.
My third thought was “change the subject doofus and quick”
And my forth thought was “Man I need a moment, where’s a Snickers bar when you need one”. (I made that one up but you get the picture).
Then in a moment of clarity that is rare in the typical fog called my brain an email exchange I had recently with a very close friend came to mind. This gentleman and I have known each other for a few years now and have grown a friendship that is filled with brotherly love. No, we are not going to see “I Love You, Man” together but a “best man” this friend of many, a good one would make. After reading my blog he had sent me an email that had expressed how over the years his concept of the Christian religion as presented by the judgmental, holier than though, exclusivity that has been so prevalent in church for hundreds of years and especially in the traditional ranks during the 20th century did not line up with the loving God that leaped off the pages of the New Testament to him. He honored me by saying that though my “born again” stuff some time made him a little uncomfortable, I had never made he feel anything but loved and respected and that he found that my seeing God in helping people write a resume or in a conversation about a pair of loppers special. Of all the emails I have received from friends over the years it will remain one of the most precious.
I pondered that the “born again” me that he was seeing was my attempt to emulate Jesus and it was from that perspective that the idea that Jesus calls us not to judge but to love flooded my mind.
I grasped the dual trap that was the question being asked:
Trap 1-
To answer “No, I don’t think you are going to hell because you don’t believe in Jesus” totally puts you in the vulnerable position of having your true faith called into suspect.
“What do you mean, you don’t think so? Doesn’t (your) Bible say that?” Conclusion: This dude’s not really a strong Christian like he confesses.
Trap 2-
To answer with the “yes” you are going to Hell if you don’t believe automatically puts the person asking the question on the defensive. It also directs that person to immediately jump to the conclusion that, “Here we go again, WHO is this person to judge me? Typical Christian!”
Who in deed? Who are we as followers of the Risen Christ whose resurrection was the prize won by the blood shed freely for us on the Cross and the defeat of sin to pass judgment on others?
It was this train of thought, inspired I believe by my still infantile walk with Him, that gave me the answer that seem the most appropriate-
>It is not my place to judge if non-believers are going to hell if they don't believe in Jesus. I just KNOW I am going to heaven because I do.<
You see, that practice of trying to find the positive way to look at potentially negative situations created by my developed coping mechanism for Momma Chicken Little kicked in. That combined with the blessings that God has poured down on me, that need to follow His Son Jesus by following his commandment “to love one another”, and the hope that I never judge others, gave me the direction I needed at the moment.
I don’t know if my answer made an impact. I may never know. The point is that as Followers of Him we are called not to judge, not to condemn, but to show his grace, mercy, and love through all action and words.
Who do you know that you need to tell, “…I just KNOW I am going to heaven because I believe in Him?”
Try it. You never know what the result might be but I assure He does.
Luke 6 Vs 37
"Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.”
John 13 vs 34
“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.”
John 13 vs 35
“By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."
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