Over the last year and half the economy has been a huge challenge for my businesses. Even though I have complete confidence in my abilities, those of my staff and of the new business I am developing with my friend Brett, it has been very trying and difficult. God has always blessed me throughout my life and I have tried to stay focused on Him, recognize and do His will, and help other people while continuing to work as hard as possible. God has also given me the capacity to work long hours. Even though what I do is not physical at all, I have always been able to commit a great deal of time and effort into everything I do.
During this last year though I have found myself doubting myself, feeling sorry for myself, being angry, and slipping into a pattern of not truly trusting God. That trust piece manifests itself in a number of ways not the least of which results in me not following Him completely. It is incredible how the evil one uses such times as these to try to separate you from the love of God.
Mike Madding my pastor and close friend has challenged us to begin digging deep in our reading of the Bible and our "Quality Time" with God (...formerly known as "quiet time"). I am not much of a morning person so I have focused my quality time before I go to bed. The last two weeks it has been hard but I refuse to go to sleep no matter how late before taking the time to open my Bible and look for God to speak to me. I must admit, several times I have caught myself falling into my bad habit of going to parts of the Bible I know well and enjoy particularly in the various words of Paul. Because of my familiarity of the various books he wrote I think I subconsciously avoid those verses that challenge me, call me out, or make me feel uncomfortable. In order to overcome this I have deliberately been looking into books that I have little or no experience in, have not studied since college, or simply have not read in a long time.
Bring in the Old Testament. For me if it is OT I am all about Proverbs, Psalms, and Isaiah. They are familiar and have a great deal to say about life and our walk with Him. It is the other books that I sometimes struggle connecting with but to stretch myself I really wanted to find something new, wanting to "hear" what God has to say to me...not just what I want to hear.
So last night it was very late. I think it was around 1:30 am. Getting a workout in very late, being very stressed over work and some other things, and just not being able to sleep I found myself finally sitting down and opening the Bible.
The world was rushing at me it seemed and at every turn and I was basically trying to force myself to stay focused. Throughout my flipping around I kept praying to God about all of the stress, financial challenges, doubt, and angst crowding my brain. I was almost at the point of just reading something, closing my Bible, and trying to go to sleep when I turned to a book called Zephaniah. I didn't even remember it being in the Bible.
When I read this passage (see below) I knew God was in it. It hit me right between the eyes as I read the words "He will renew you with his love.....I will remove disaster from you....I will restore your fortunes before your eyes...”
I just sat there almost dumbfounded. Reading the passage over and over the words were ringing in my mind. What is God talking about "remove disaster"? "Restore my fortunes?" "Renew me with His love?
And then it became clear. God was saying look I have got this if you turn it over to me, everything that seems to be vexing you. Turn it over. Completely. Keep Me in your midst. I will renew you with love.
He may not return our business back to where it was or take away all the stresses of this life but because He loves us He will see us through. He will restore our fortunes in a way that is far beyond what this world has to offer.
I hope I NEVER ever forget this passage.
Zephaniah 3: 17-20
17] The LORD, your God, is in your midst,
a warrior who gives victory;
he will rejoice over you with gladness,
he will renew you in his love;
he will exult over you with loud singing
[18] as on a day of festival.
"I will remove disaster from you,
so that you will not bear reproach for it.
[19] Behold, at that time I will deal
with all your oppressors.
And I will save the lame
and gather the outcast,
and I will change their shame into praise
and renown in all the earth.
[20] At that time I will bring you home,
at the time when I gather you together;
yea, I will make you renowned and praised
among all the peoples of the earth,
when I restore your fortunes
before your eyes," says the LORD.
